It's not me, it's you.

I came to a realization earlier tonight. That all my ex's problems... they aren't me. I'm not the cause of them. He can say I am till he's blue in the face, but in the end... his problems are of his own creation, not mine.

He blames me for his terrible work history. Says that it's because he was constantly quitting jobs to take care of me. The truth is that I often wouldn't find out he quit until after the fact, and his reasons were many and varied, only once did he lose a job on my account, and the events that led to his firing were his choice, not mine.

He blames me for his psychological issues. I don't really care anymore, in all honesty. Let him. But something that was broken before I ever messed with it isn't broken because of me.

I think, in the end, it all comes down to this -- he is terrified of commitment. He had a bad experience with his first wife. I'll admit that. She fucked him over royally. However, throughout his life, he has expected people to be perfect. To follow his ideals at all times. And when they inevitably don't, he blames them for everything that goes wrong. Thanks to his first wife, he's scared of committing to anyone, and so the two times when our relationship has reached a serious level of commitment, he has left me. I think the problem is that this time, his responsibilities are not vanishing like the wind. They're still here, and they're compounding. This time I'm not rolling over and LETTING him tell me he wont pay child support, etc. And that angers him. I think he expected me to just disappear, so he could go back to playing dnd with his friends at 2am, and forget all about his family. When that didn't happen, he blamed me for it.

If I am to accept guilt for making him accept his responsibilities, that's fine. I'll do so happily.