They will cry out, "Save us!" and I will whisper, "Blow me."

Badass

I have noticed that it seems like a lot of people in my life expect me to disappear and/or not ask anything of them, until the shit hits the fan, and then suddenly they want something from me, and I'm the selfish, evil person who wont give it to them. I feel like Rorschach.

I'm not sane. I never claimed to be. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a dark, twisted, sadistic bitch. I can point to a lot of things, all psychological nature v. nurture like, that are responsible for me being the way I am, but it doesn't matter. I am who I am. (Note to self: write a blog on your personal interpretation of that quote from the bible and what it means as far as religion goes on a personal level.)

One of the few times in history that a burning bush hasn't meant herpes.

Anyway....

The incident that spawned this snazzy little number is a phone call with my ex tonight. Suffice to say, he wants me to bend over backwards for him as far as custody/visitation of the baby I am currently carrying goes. While I don't want to start a lifetime of hate between the two of us, I'm getting sick of these demands. The people he lives with/hangs around in texas are NOT the kind of people I want around my child. Some of them have DFS/CPS reports out on them, for God's sake! But, of course, it's too much for me to ask him to keep our baby away from them. They're his friends. When I want something from him -- like... i don't know... him to keep his promises in the first goddamn place? It's too much. He was engaged to be married to me. He knew that I had psychological issues that I was trying to work out. When the shit hit the fan and I needed him to support me and help me, he abandoned me. Then he blamed me for putting him in that situation. He knew what he was getting into, so I feel no pity for him. Now, not only does he want visitation/joint custody, he doesn't want to have to pay child support. I'm asking for too much, I'm being selfish for looking out for the welfare of my child.

I guess I've just decided that I am a bitch. As much as I want people to like me, and approve of me and my actions... I just can't bring myself to care anymore. There are people in my life who have been there for me when I needed them, and people who have not. Those who have been there, I'm there for them 100%. Those who haven't, well, take a number and I'll get around to helping you if and when I goddamn feel like it.