NO U! A look at the insecurities inherent in modern motherhood.

At least 100 years ago, there was this complete douchebag. We'll call him Freud. He wrote a bunch of theories about psychology, and they pretty much all boiled down to one thing: Everything that is wrong with you is your mom's fault. Essentially, Freud thought that if your mother made any kind of mistake, even a little one, you would suffer irreparable damage and she was to blame, plus it would make you want to have sex with her.

Freud
The original Mother Fucker

Now, in our society, when someone comes up with crap this bogus, we usually ignore them. However, for some reason only men can fathom, because it's complete bullshit, the entire scientific community embraced his ideas and proliferated them like herpes.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

This has lead to our entire society taking an interesting view of motherhood. Mothers are lauded as these wonderful people -- so long as they can keep up with the demands of being an adult, woman, and mother. IK Broverman did a lovely study in which he gathered three random samples of adults. The first group was asked to select the adjectives that described a healthy, well adjusted adult. The second group was to select those that described a healthy, well adjusted man. The third - those that described a healthy, well adjusted woman. The results for men and adults in general were pretty much identical. However, the results for women were diametrically opposed, ie, it was impossible to be both a well adjusted adult and a well adjusted woman. This is the first hurdle that any mother will find herself facing, LONG before she ever accepts the mantle of motherhood, the conflict between being a woman and an adult. As an adult, I am expected to be determined and self-sufficient, but as a woman, society expects me to (and sometimes tries to force me into!!) being emotionally and physically dependent on others. So women inevitably fall into three camps - those who become what society expects them to be as adults, those who become what society expects them to be as women, or those who present a veneer for society to accept while being themselves. Women are expected to lock away their true selves and become what society wants from them, and that is why rates for depression and other mental illnesses are higher amongst women than men.

The only reason most of us make it through the day.

After a woman manages to navigate THAT minefield, be it as themselves or as what society expects them to be, they come to motherhood. This is where this sad little drama reaches its climax. Just as a woman and an adult are expected to be different
things, so too are a woman and a mother. A woman is sexy, a mother is not. A woman is taken care of, a mother takes care of others. Whereas, before, if a woman chose to be a woman, and not a well adjusted adult, that was allright, she was a woman, now a mother MUST be both. She must be attractive to her husband, but matronly to society. She must rely on her husband for everything, but her children must rely on her. Add into the mix that she's still expected to be a modern woman, who works 40 hours a week, and a mother, who cooks and cleans and cares for children full time, and a recipe for disaster begins.


The only woman in recorded history with enough appendages to actually do this shit.
Note that she is a goddess of death and destruction. Coincidence? I think not.

However women and girls have found an outlet for all this pain and suffering, and it's the worst outlet possible -- each other. Every bit of insecurity we feel is, instead of being dealt with in a calm, healthy manner, because women can't do that, it is instead turned into nastiness that we use to make OTHER women around us feel more insecure. And there is no easier way to do that than to criticize another's choices in regards to her children. This is why so many issues of child rearing turn into huge debates (read: internet arguments).

In fact, these arguments are so predictable that we're going to play a FUN GAME! Select one of the numbers from the list below:

1) A. Breastfeeding B. Formula Feeding
2) A. Formual Feeding B. Breast Feeding
3) A. Natural Child Birth B. Medically Assisted Childbirth
4) A. Medically Assisted Childbirth B. Natural Child Birth
5) A. Circumcision B. No Circumcision
6) A. No Circumcision B. Circumcision
7) A. Spanking B. No Spanking
8) A. No Spanking B. Spanking
9) A. Co-Sleeping B. Own Bed
10) A. Own Bed B. Co-Sleeping

Funny how they're all opposites of each other.

Now, take the A and B from whichever one you chose...

And put them in the image below!

Isn't it funny how they act and react the same EVERY TIME? It's because this drama actually has VERY LITTLE to do with the debate at hand. Women are by nature insecure, thanks to what we must endure in society on a daily basis. So, naturally, when a woman begins to discuss an option other than the one we have decided is right for us and our family, we feel invalidated, as if judgement is being cast on us for choosing something different. We lash out at each other. The options above are only ones I thought of off the top of my head. Now, I'll tell you ladies now, I am a mom who is going for an epidural, going to formula feed, I'm not going to circumcise my son, I will spank his ass, and he can sleep in his own bed. In all honesty... I don't give a shit what you are choosing for your children. I think you should choose what is best for you and your child, not what some crackpot on the internet told you.

Tell me I'm wrong. I just have one thing to say to that: